5.24.2009

A Pirate's Mama Looks at 40

I've reached that milestone when it suddenly occurs to me, as I lie in the sun, that the premature signs of aging are no longer premature. I've just aged. Hopefully like a fine wine, but how can you be sure?


A number of suggestions have been recently made to restore my health and sanity, or at least the outward appearance of such:

  • Take a Disney cruise. They have on-board childcare and if we book now, we can get a $700 voucher for spa treatments.
  • Turn this blog into a book. First, though, the plot would have to thicken: Island Twins Mama & Her Midlife Crisis.
  • Put photos of bikini-clad Self in the blog to keep guys reading. (This from a guy who hasn't seen me in a while.)
  • Start a new blog that isn't so kid-focused. This could help ensure the continued relevance of Self to future employers. (This from that same guy.)
  • Take up yoga at Earth Mama's, or at least go buy some of its cute new organic clothing.
  • Start doing facial exercises, to prevent the need for future nips and tucks. (Seriously, this was suggested to me at a Mother's Day party.)
  • Swap houses with a girlfriend in North Carolina to gain quality time at Target for me and Caribbean vacation for her. This was a mutual suggestion born out of desperation on both sides.
  • Take the twins to Greece, because they love babies in the Mediterranean and might take them off our hands for an hour or two.
  • Pitch our crazy, lazy life to TLC to fill in the hole being dug by Jon & Kate. Even without a plot, Twins on an Island has more appeal than the dozens of Duggars, doesn't it? Heck, for $75,000 per episode I'd do my exercises and put on that bikini.
My own Pirate Hayden wakes up each morning looking for boats on the water. He can see miles of ocean from his bed and when he spots something moving, he shrieks with glee. "BoaT. BoaT!" He knows just what he's looking at. Looking at life on the other side of 40, I know no such certainty. But, I do know it's bound to be interesting. And, as I'm reminded in so many ways each day, I must treasure every second.

Take the poll and help me decide what's in store for 40+.

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