10.26.2009

And then there were.... 4?

Fridays are the days when Delaney and Hayden bring home their week's worth of artwork from Discovery Bay preschool.

Usually there's a painted paper plate and the Letter of the Week colored in the Color of the Week.

This Friday they had a surprise for Mommy. They had multiplied.

The class project involved stuffed, life-size paper-bag recreations of themselves.

Wearing their own clothes.

Looking freakishly like Delaney and Hayden, times two.

As if I needed that?

D1 and H1 were enormously proud of their alter-egos as they carried them out of the schoolhouse. The problems started when we reached the car.

They wanted D2 and H2 to have their own seats. They fought over which of themselves were going to sit in the front with Mommy. They complained that Mommy hadn't thought ahead to bring all of them juice for the ride home. We finally compromised on putting the dolls in the middle, between their car seats, and pretending to share our sippee cups.

Which worked fine, until they pulled their new friends onto their laps.

And started waving them around.

Eight new arms and legs flying around in my rear view mirror.

Eight new arms and legs hitting each other and screaming. Only these new kids can actually reach all the way across the car and smack their sibling in the face.

And then, as we turned onto Mud Hole Road, they all fell asleep.

Quiet.

Twenty minutes later we reached the house, and I prepared for the tricky maneuver of soundlessly transporting sleeping babies up to their beds. All good, except that I didn't realize that D1 has entwined her arms with D2's and, as I attempted to pull the seatbelt off, I accidentally pulled D2's arm off as well.

Rrrippp. Right out of its stapled socket.

Shoot. What if D1 wakes up and sees I've broken her project? Hurt her baby? Destroyed her work of art? What if she wakes up, period, and won't go back to sleep?

Shoot. Now I"ll have to spend naptime doing reconstructive surgery on a paper bag.

I'm more careful with H2 and allow him to take his nap on a comfy chair.

Later on we introduced Mike to his new children. He was overwhelmed.

By bedtime, as with all new toys, other appendages had been severed. It didn't cause nearly the trauma I had anticipated. We said goodnight to a pile of body parts for Mommy and Daddy to tape back together, good as new.

"Ban-day, Leesha," Hayden says.

"Medcin," Delaney instructs.

I guess if you've got two, you might as well have four.

No wait, did I really say that? At least these two new additions were mute and pliable. What will I do when Delaney and Hayden have actual friends come over? Friends that talk, and talk, and ask me for things?

Maybe I'll make a life-size Mommy doll. I'll prop her up in the kitchen. I'll stuff some band-aids in her pocket so she can put herself, and all the others, back together.

And then I'll go take a nap.

Now that's an A+ idea, if you ask me.


1 comment:

  1. I don't believe I have ever clicked open a Twins update faster than I did this one. If there EVER was a better headline than...And then there were 4 - I certainly don't know what it could have been. My heart literally stopped for the 5 seconds it took for my browser to open and my chin to hit the desk. Thankfully I see that you were referencing DOLLS and I was lucky enough to get my heart started again. Whewwwww.

    See you in November, when I will be fully employed as the General Manager of an Oil Company.

    It's your turn to have heart palpitations!

    love

    Phil

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